It’s frustrating to watch other mothers get judged for how they parent. I know I get judged as well, but I’ve been fortunate enough not to have any internet trolls parade around my social media with comments (yet). However, some of my friends with larger followings seem to be bombarded with these negative comments.
I’m not perfect and I’ve had my own moments, but I always try to remind myself that you can never truly understand a situation until you are in that person’s shoes. But you’ll never be that person, which is why any opinion you have of them is invalidated and unsupported. So bottom line? Keep your opinions and judgements to yourself.
HERE ARE 5 REASONS YOUR PARENTING STYLE IS THE BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY:
No one knows your children better than you. They are physically a product of YOU. Hello DNA! You know which cry means they’re hungry, if they’re sleepy, if they’re cranky because they’re missing a nap, or overstimulated, etc. Don’t let others deter you from reacting how you see fit. You’ll only wish you had listened to yourself.
Times have changed. Let Great Aunt Elma’s advice go in one ear and out the other! Things are so different now than they were 30 years ago, 20 years, and even 5 years ago. Technology has impacted a lot of things in many ways. Women are different. Society is different. Long gone are the times where you let your kids play outside for hours without supervision until it’s dark. It’s just a lot harder for someone who is outside of our generation to understand the reasons we do things, or the amount of time we’ve spent researching article after article on Google…when to start solids, the witching hour, silent reflux, which bottles are best, the list goes on and on. However, the one thing that will never change, no matter how many years go by, is the amount of love us parents have for our children.
Your sleep method is the best sleep method for your family. If you want your baby next to your bed, have them there. If you don’t want to try the cry it out method, then don’t. If you want to co-sleep and bed share, then by all means please do so. (You can read more on the pros and cons of co-sleeping here). I receive so many messages from other moms saying they love seeing my daughters snuggled in bed together and that they also co-sleep but feel ashamed to admit it in fear of criticism from family members (refer back to good ol’ aunt Elma) or friends (most likely friends without kids- see more on this below). Before you judge, just know that moms actually enjoy sleep and will do everything they can to get the most of it, whether it’s putting their baby in the crib, a rock & play next to the bed, or in bed with them. Co-sleeping is often the most convenient for breastfeeding mamas and breastfeeding is already such a challenge, so please do not add mom-shaming to the mix.
Do not listen to anything from people without kids. Ok, maybe you can listen to the “your kids are cute comments.” ha! But anything else, take it with a grain of salt. People without kids form opinions and judgement from a place of ignorance. I was once that person commenting on the parents letting their children sleep in bed with them (current co-sleeper over here now) and this is exactly why I can say just don’t do it. You truly don’t know anything about having kids until you have them.
You’re doing a great job… trust me. Parent the way you choose and own it! Parenting has its trying moments and is hard work. And you’ll learn a lot along the way. Find your tribe that supports you and offers EXPERIENCE OVER OPINIONS. This is so key. It’s so important to operate c o n f i d e n t l y as a mother knowing your decisions are the BEST for your family!